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Santa Claus: An Engineering Analysis REBUTTAL

To understand this joke, see the original joke, Santa Claus: An Engineering Analysis

If people are going to attempt to apply science to the question of Santa, the least they can do is to get it right. The so-called "Engineer" that wrote the paper suggesting that Santa Claus is dead had it all wrong.

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NEWS FLASH SANTA FINALLY EXPOSED.......

How Does Santa Keep Track of Who's Naughty And Nice? 



"So," little Timmy says, "how in the hell does one man keep tabs on the actions of every kid, in every part of the world, all year?"

There are literally billions of kids on the planet, and we're expected to believe that Santa not only keeps track of every last one of them at all times, but smites the bad ones with 19th century train fuel while showering the good kids with free stuff?

So How Does Santa Do it?

Oh, children. Have you never heard of the NSA? You see, Santa has a surveillance system rivaling our worst Orwellian nightmares at his disposal. All of the technology needed to observe your every action with impunity very much exists, and you can bet the farm he's employing it to keep track of children like you at this very moment.

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Santa Claus: An Engineer's Perspective

Image result for santa claus

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

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